Sick of Your Stories

One of the types of people that I don't like are the ones who don't know how to listen, or are insensitive to the non-verbal messages a person displays when he's stressed out, angry, bored, emo, etc.
People like these tend to flood you with their lives, their stories, their escapades, and they can never seem to stop. They seldom ever welcome your own stories, or if you do give them a chapter of your book, all they can say is "ok" or "I see" or they just ignore it altogether, and continue to rant about their lives.
I detest it when people just seem to let your stories pass through one ear and then out the other. You can figure it out. Sometimes I've led myself to conclude that either this person doesn't give a shit about me and just uses me as a sinkdrain for his/her debaucheries, or, this person can't totally relate with me.

I'm happy though, coz now I'm betting that one other person really seems to care about what I have to say.

Things I'm Thankful for...

It's my first Thanksgiving here in the US, and I can't wait to wolf down all the Turkey, Gravy, Stuffing, Honey-cured Ham, Mashed Potatoes, Cranberries, Yams...@_@

Anyway, so here's a little list of what I'm thankful for:

1. For my parents, for supporting me in all my decisions and for exposing me to so many opportunities.

2. For friends, for being my anchors to sanity and reality, for being there when I need someone to talk to.

3. For getting As so far in all the classes I'm taking.

4. For the opportunity to be working at Sylvan as a Math Teacher. It is one hell of an experience.

5. For the opportunity to be here in the US and pursue great academic endeavours for my career.

6. For the people who have welcomed me here, for those whom I talk on the phone with almost every weekend, and for my relatives and family friends who have been checking up on me, and for my friends at school and at work.

7. For the people I chat with online. You are all so entertaining. Thank you for being therapeutic whenever I need something to cheer me up.

That's all I could think of for now.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Your Hand

I cannot express in words how beautiful your hand was, as it reached out, pallid, yet strong; shaken, yet resolved. I am basking in the amity of your kindness, in the ambience that fosters a casualness that I have been missing. A breath of fresh air - a touch of warmth in a place where all I've ever felt is drudgery, shame, deceit, and yet I stay to resolve myself.
In the most difficult of places, I opted to stay in the shadows, and let myself grow, and see where I can go with eyes blinded by the dark. Soon they will eventually adjust to the low level of light, but before this I can already feel the warmth of your hands as they reach toward mine, as they envelope my fingers and rub against my palms, as they grip so strongly, yet so kindly. They bring my hands closer to you, your soul, your aura, and you kiss my hands, telling me you are there, even if I can't see you. Your eyes are used to the dark, and you are guiding me. We do not know where to go, but I trust that together we will be safe somehow, safe from the demons that devour our dreams and leave us empty, without ambition, without dignity.
Now though I know I must control myself and my feelings, I can only cry and sob. This is a burden that your comfortings can only aggravate, for I know that there is a limit that I cannot break, a limit that we have unconsciously set. I shall not liberate myself, I shall not give in to my Id, yet how my Id carves out my soul, emptying my happiness with you, turning them into bitterness, sorrow, and despite your kindness, I am here left with utter self-destruction.
Just tell me it's okay, that soon enough I shall find another soul to play with, one that will truly show me the way to the place that I desire the most, even though now I do not know where that place is, or how long I have to wait.
My loneliness, you see, is a vast repetitive abyss that can only be filled by an understanding. With all due respect, with all due understanding, with all our hidden contracts that we dare not breach, and within all the limitations that we have shackled unto ourselves, I request only one thing: a platonic physicality.

2 New Songs! @_@

Okay, if you haven't noticed yet, I've uploaded a new playlist in my music section entitled "New Compositions." Here are the production notes for the songs that I have freshly uploaded:

1. Lethargenesis - vocals, electric piano & drums by Me!
This is my 3rd recording of my newest original composition, featuring a crisper recording of the electric piano and thicker drums, all made possible by Brian (my piano), and Garageband. The lyrics have been posted not too long ago in a previous blog entry. I'd really love if you guys could give me comments, especially constructive criticism.
Jom said "Pray Tell" is still my most refined song so far. I hope to outdo it, though I must admit it is one of my more radio-friendly compositions.

2. This Old Man - vocals by Me!
This is my own remake of the children's song This Old Man (This old man, he played one, he played knick-knack on my drum. With a knick-knack, paddy-whack, give a dog a bone, this old man came rolling home...)
Basically, I just played around with the words. I won't be posting the lyrics because I think I did sing it quite clearly. It's just a cup of tea for those of you who want to hear me sing in a different way (different from my other original compositions, a bit more folk and yodelling).

So, enjoy, and please give me comments!

Click here to go to the playlist.

This Old Man + Lethargenesis ver. 2.1

Okay, if you haven't noticed yet, I've uploaded a new playlist in my music section entitled "New Compositions." Here are the production notes for the songs that I have freshly uploaded:

1. Lethargenesis - vocals, electric piano & drums by Me!
This is my 3rd recording of my newest original composition, featuring a crisper recording of the electric piano and thicker drums, all made possible by Brian (my piano), and Garageband. The lyrics have been posted not too long ago in a previous blog entry. I'd really love if you guys could give me comments, especially constructive criticism.
Jom said "Pray Tell" is still my most refined song so far. I hope to outdo it, though I must admit it is one of my more radio-friendly compositions.

2. This Old Man - vocals by Me!
This is my own remake of the children's song This Old Man (This old man, he played one, he played knick-knack on my drum. With a knick-knack, paddy-whack, give a dog a bone, this old man came rolling home...)
Basically, I just played around with the words. I won't be posting the lyrics because I think I did sing it quite clearly. It's just a cup of tea for those of you who want to hear me sing in a different way (different from my other original compositions, a bit more folk and yodelling).

So, enjoy, and please give me comments!

Am I Emo?

Wait a second, I'm really confused now. Am I Emo?

What exactly is emo? Does it really mean those suicidal, chronically depressed wrist-slitting boys with dyed black straight hair covering one or both their eyes, make-up, black fingernails, studded belts, skinny jeans, scarves, and black horn-rimmed glasses who write poetry, cry, have a tendency towards bisexuality?

OMG... Well...

1. I wear dark clothes (black, rock shirts, black belt, dark boot cut jeans (not skinny) and a Fossil Watch, not-horn-rimmed sunglasses, and black casual leather shoes)

2. I write poetry that you could consider as 'emotional' and often depressing, suicidal, angst-ridden, and/or gothic, and I transform these into slow songs (not punk) with Brian (I named my piano Brian! and my laptop is Kent hehehe).

3. I get lethargic EMOde moments when I just contemplate but I have never intended to slit my wrists or neck or throw myself into a bathtub with a plugged hairdryer.

4. I smile a LOT. I smile when I'm nervous. I smile when I stumble. I smile when somebody accidentally hurts me.

5. I have REAL depression. It's not imaginary. F*** those posers!

Oh well... What do you think? Am I Emo?