Uh-oh...

OK!
Rules: I am writing 20 things that I want to tell certain people but I know I never will and without naming them. Please, no guessing (except on your mind) to keep the "thrill."

Oh and one last thing, now that you have opened this, you are tagged, and will now have to do it in your blog!

1. I can only conclude that you've been dead for all these years. I will never know what really happened when our conversations stopped. But you will always be in my mind.

2. You've been through a rollercoaster of things that I can't imagine happening to my own life in such a fast-paced manner. I admire you for being strong, and I trust that you will be doing the right thing from now on. You don't know how much you mean to me as a friend, even though we're half a world apart.

3. I've already moved on from my infatuation with you, ok? I never told you that, but you've been less tender than before I told you something else. Oh well... I've come to the conclusion that you're a dead star.

4. You should be a bit more observing of the world around you. There are opportunities under every rock, in every niche, nook and cranny. I'm kinda upset that you're not achieving as much, and it's kinda weird for you to wonder how I learned about the opportunities I'm taking. Open your eyes, and stay strong. I'll always be here to support you.

5. Where have you been all this time? I thought that it's your sem break now so you can go online a bit more frequent. But I've never seen you online! I already have so many stories to tell that I don't know where to begin when I'll have a chance to talk to you.

6. Thank you for making me realize that there are at least some people who appreciate me and consider me as a friend in this God-forsaken land. I really appreciate you receiving my calls and helping me to maintain an anchor to reality. It's always so nice to have someone who can relate to you.

7. Take it easy, coz life is about achieving your goals, but no one ever said that we could only take the one best way to achieve it. You are a very strong person and very much admirable, and I bet that you will be able to achieve your dreams, even though it might take a while.

8. I can't believe you. You are wasting your life because of a quarter-life crisis? Maybe you just need someone to guide you or support you or relate to you. But just be patient, sooner or later, you will just stumble upon a gift from Above.

9. I admire your ambition, and I believe that you will soon conquer the world/make a big difference/save the world from a neurodegenerative disease. I was kinda surprised that you're planning to go to med school as well. All I say is Good Luck! I'm here to help.

10. You're a breath of fresh air amidst the smog of online social networking. If only more people could be like you - not shallow, open-minded, and generally courteous and approachable. You are a real gentleman and I'm very thankful to have met you.

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OMG! OMG! Breathe! This is quite Tedious...
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11. I don't know what your agenda were, and what ultimately motivated you for your actions, but you didn't hurt me at all. Of course, I might have been troubled by all the rumours that went around that were only half of the truth, but pretty early on I realized that I don't need to bother, coz the only ones who will believe it and advocate in your destructive motives are not my real friends. But still, why do you have to victimize not only me but other people as well? I don't get why you spend so much of your energy for it.

12. You're a very kind persona and I'm glad I was able to find a partner-in-crime for most of my classes here. I'm glad that we met and I'm very appreciative that we've developed this mutual relationship of helping each other and cheering each other up.

13. I'm very thankful for all your support, you don't know how much it means to me that you give me your 100% approval no matter what my decision is. I'm very proud to be your product, and I will do my best not to tarnish our reputation and to end up being successful and earning lots of money so I could buy you a Corvette! (But we need a pick-up truck first for all those Balikbayan boxes hahahahaha).

14. You people have let me realized that I have family to fall unto if I get into trouble here. Thank you so much for your hospitality.

15. I'm glad that you are now optimistic and I really hope that you will be able to achieve your goals. I'm sure that your loyalty to God will not let you falter. God Bless!

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OMG! I'm three-quarters finished! Whew!
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16. How come when I talk to you we always end up talking about sex? Aren't there other things on your mind? I'm sure there are.

17. I hope that you will find me and be able to relate to all my phenomenologies. I can't wait to have someone I can finally laugh, sing, sleep, play and dream with.

18. Sorry! Ok fine. You'r not emo... or emo punk, for that matter. So then what are you, exactly? Emo-ish? Emo-esque? JK!

19. I'm so thankful that we were able to talk a few nights ago. I really miss you guys and I'm hoping that everything is fine and that you're all enjoying your sem break.

20. I promise you that I will continue your legacy, and reinstate it. I promise you that I will be as influential and respected as you were, and then some. I have always admired you and I've recently realized that you have been looking out for me too. Please pray for me.
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OK! Now I'm finished at last! Whew! That was really draining.

Lethargenesis

Lethargenesis

By J. Charles Lacson

I see that the eastern sun is peeking,
I feel that my bones give in to breaking,
I am lost amidst the numbness of space,
Not a single tear or a single trace
Of the intrepidity I used to embrace.

The sound of the arpeggio is deafened,
By whispered screams of souls so weakened,
I am lost amidst today’s unreality,
Not a single force or an entity,
Ephemeral escapes from solidity.

I feel that my body is distended,
I feel that it is not intended,
I am lost in apparitional comas,
Not a single wake or single trauma,
This is spiritual carcinoma.

The light of the tungsten is shadowed,
By darkened flashes of souls so sorrowed -

I scream

Until my very chords collapse,
Into an orgasmic relapse,
Until my very pipes implode,
We mercilessly corrode.

I see that the western moon is burning,
I feel that my self gives in to turning,
I am lost amidst this sad stagnancy,
Not a single squirm or single fancy,
Dreams of metastatic malignancy.

A Tad Bit Too Ambitious

Well you know I somehow arrived at one conclusion, after getting my MCAT scores:

Maybe I'm a tad bit too ambitious for my age.

I'm just 20 years old (yet with a BS diploma), and I have my whole life ahead of me.

A whole life ahead of me.

I have a lot of time for the future, a lot of time for my career. I don't have to rush, whoever said that I needed to anyway? Whoever said that I should be in medical school by the time I'm 21? That was just an estimate that everybody speaks of.

You know, there are a lot of ways to arrive at one endpoint, at one goal. After all, the end justifies the means.

Focus on Infinity

I wrote this to comfort myself. Nuff said!

Focus on Infinity

By J. Charles Lacson

I don’t really know what to sing here,
But I’ll take the chance anyway.
A million thoughts both haunting and dear,
But so few words come out to play.

It’s hampering me like an ocean,
And I am drowning in my burdens,
Still I sleep amidst the commotion,
My alarm clock gives no pardons.

But my dreams compel me to condense,
My ego does not want to wither,
Though it may not make any sense,
I cannot stay in the night forever.

So I wait for the morrow to come,
For my eyes to focus on infinity,
The song that now is a simple hum,
Shall soon flow with virtuosity.

All I need is a ray of light,
To open my eyes so forcefully,
And passion to hold me tight,
As I focus on infinity.