RAW Thoughts and Emotions

As you may have noticed, everything I post on my blog is pretty much on another level of thinking. See, there is this process I follow. I experience something, and react to it immediately. My reactions are raw thoughts and emotions, and maybe incomprehensible to me at that time. Later on, I retrace to my experience, with my raw thoughts and emotions, and arrive at a construal. From that construal, I am able to interpret things in a new way and give reason to what was illogical or unexplanable at first.

So, just a preview of my thoughts for the day:

I cannot help but wonder when courage is gonna take me over, or when confidence will help me let my foot down.

To change is to become sticky - you must adhere yourself to your goals and stick to it no matter what. You must be strict and you can't slack off coz in the end the greatest winner or the greatest loser will only be yourself.

If I came down there would you allow me to vent out my physical yearnings on you?

Is it just me or are we all silent here?

You have car, but I don't. You live in the suburbs, but I don't. You've got an income, but I don't. So what you say to giving me a ride home?

Suddenly, having arrived at the land of opportunity, I imagine myself being deceived, or maybe I have to prepare myself first.

Somehow I wonder if I've been deceived all along. Maybe I've done some really big mistakes which for now I consider as big yet lucrative risks for both my life and my career.

Am I good enough? And if I'm not, how am I gonna deal with it?

Inertia is an object's (person's) resistance to change.

Well that's all for now.
Thanks for reading.
Comments, s'il vous plait.

Tagged

A long overdue response to Toni's tag.

Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about you. People who got tagged need to write a blog entry of their own 6 weird things. They should as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. I can play the piano with my necked arched backwards fully and with my eyes closed.

2. I just bought a new piano, and he's a male one too, so yeah, I broke up with the one I left in Bacolod, and I'm for the moment dating with this new one, although I've reached 2nd base so far. Uhuh, it's a homosexual relationship.

3. Sometimes when I wake up, I'd say I had a weird dream. More often than not, I don't remember what the dream was about, just that it was weird.

4. I'm supposed to be of Chinese descent but I know more of Japanese culture and language coz I like it more.

5. I like to talk to myself in different intonations and languages. And more often than not I refer to myself as "we," as if my mind and body (and soul?) were separate entities.

6. I think love songs are cliche, which is why it's very rare to me to write a song about "I love you."

Waiting for a Fairytale... Say What?

I kinda realized today that I still somehow believe in Fairytales. Happy endings, damsels in distress, prince charmings, you know, alle diese dingen. Right when I realized it, I kicked myself right in the arse (kids, don't do this at home... if you do, post it on youtube) and I swore to myself that I'm not gonna wait for a happy ending coz my destiny has been in my hands since the beginning. God gave me power of freedom, and I must exercise the responsibility to steer my freedom, to my own happy-ever-after (yeah I know that kinda sounds sappy).

So anyway, I wrote a new song and it's the very first time I've actually structured the lyrics against the tune. I stumbled upon the tune and I have been playing, and well a phrase got into my head, so I joined it with the tune, and then magic happened.

I'll upload it sooner or later if I get time to record it. Anyway, here are the lyrics:

Hey Stranger

By J. Charles Lacson

Hey Stranger can you buy me a drink?
I don’t think I want to stay so sane
Till the sad moon and the stars sink,
I don’t think I can withstand the rain.

Striking down
The truth on me.

If I’ll let you dig deep into my soul,
Will you find the chest that keeps it all?

Hey Stranger can you take me home?
Can you condone the dreams I’ve buried?
If you can’t find it maybe I can roam,
I’ve been calm and I’ve never hurried.

Trying to find
A Home in foreign land.

If I’ll let you dig deep into my soul,
Will you find the chest that keeps it all?
If I’ll give you the key, will you unlock me?
Can you sift the gold from my dirty needs?

Hey Stranger can you buy me a drink,
I don’t think I’d want to stay insane
Till the sad moon and the stars sink,
I still don’t think I can stay in the rain.

I’m still trying
To find my place here.

Waiting for a Fairytale... Say What?

I kinda realized today that I still somehow believe in Fairytales. Happy endings, damsels in distress, prince charmings, you know, alle diese dingen. Right when I realized it, I kicked myself right in the arse (kids, don't do this at home... if you do, post it on youtube) and I swore to myself that I'm not gonna wait for a happy ending coz my destiny has been in my hands since the beginning. God gave me power of freedom, and I must exercise the responsibility to steer my freedom, to my own happy-ever-after (yeah I know that kinda sounds sappy).

So anyway, I wrote a new song and it's the very first time I've actually structured the lyrics against the tune. I stumbled upon the tune and I have been playing, and well a phrase got into my head, so I joined it with the tune, and then magic happened.

I'll upload it sooner or later if I get time to record it. Anyway, here are the lyrics:

Hey Stranger

By J. Charles Lacson

Hey Stranger can you buy me a drink?
I don’t think I want to stay so sane
Till the sad moon and the stars sink,
I don’t think I can withstand the rain.

Striking down
The truth on me.

If I’ll let you dig deep into my soul,
Will you find the chest that keeps it all?

Hey Stranger can you take me home?
Can you condone the dreams I’ve buried?
If you can’t find it maybe I can roam,
I’ve been calm and I’ve never hurried.

Trying to find
A Home in foreign land.

If I’ll let you dig deep into my soul,
Will you find the chest that keeps it all?
If I’ll give you the key, will you unlock me?
Can you sift the gold from my dirty needs?

Hey Stranger can you buy me a drink,
I don’t think I’d want to stay insane
Till the sad moon and the stars sink,
I still don’t think I can stay in the rain.

I’m still trying
To find my place here.

Drown me and I shall perish in amber demise.

So I'm finally in the land teeming with milk and honey.
So drown me and I shall perish in amber demise.

Well I've been here for 5 days now and I'm still in the process of adjusting and will probably stay like that for a few weeks or even for months, because everythings really new for me. It's very different from moving to Manila. Duh.
So I have a lot to learn in the next couple of days to a few weeks, aside from the MCAT review that will be starting on monday:
1. How to drive here and obey the rules and hopefully I'll pass the test and get a driver's license right away
2. How to take the bus, so I can use it while I don't have a license or car yet.
3. How to deal with a Mac coz that's what I'm using here
4. How to deal with the new keyboard my aunt bought for me
5. What kind of cellphone contract I should get
And so much more, like what kind of brands of clothes I should get accustomed to and blah blah blah.
Everything's going by too fast, I think. I'm always lost in thought and I somehow can't keep up but I guess I'll just get used to it in the next couple of days.

At Borders bookstore I found a copy of Kurt Cobain's journal and I really liked reading it. I'm hoping to buy it or look for some excerpts online. I especially liked it when he was very conceptual and you'd be surprised at the things he can think of.
I would probably go back and buy it... I just didn't want to because I have so many things to do first...

Oh well... ^^